Sweet little Tavish,
Your dad and I have had a scare this month. We thought you might be coming early. Thankfully it was a false alarm. We also had a meeting with the doctor that runs the NICU team. She told us some upsetting information about our doctor. Apparently he thought we weren't going to fight for you. We set them straight pretty quick on that. How could we not fight for you my darling little boy? You have already made it farther than anyone expected you to. As long as you keep fighting, we will keep fighting.
After such month, we felt like we needed to go away for a little bit. Neither one of us has been to San Antonio before, and now you'll get to go too. We have a hotel not far from the River Walk, and we're going to see the Alamo. The best part? I get a whole day off of work! I am definitely looking forward to what should be a lovely, long weekend. I don't know everything we will do while we're there, but that's the whole point. To relax, and not do very much at all. I'm sure you will enjoy it as much as you dad and I will. Just keep growing stronger baby boy. I look forward to your birthday, and seeing your sweet face.
Love,
Mom
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
September
My dear Tavish,
it's September, and we've had a few visits with the doctors and the midwives. The midwives said we need to transfer our care to the specialist. That makes mommy a little sad, because she was really hoping that she would have birth at the birth center. But you know what? All that matters is that you are taken care of. I want the absolute best for you, and the best possible chance for you to make it into this world not just alive, but strong. If that means that I see you for the first time in a hospital, then I'm happy to do it :).
The doctor we've been seeing was recommended to us by friends. He has a good reputation for knowing how to make the best of a "high risk" pregnancy. His way of talking to us isn't the nicest, but he's supposed to be the best. We love you so much Tavish. We want to give you the best possible chance.
I don't know what else to tell you right now, so I'm just going to remind you again how much I love you sweet baby boy, and how I look forward to holding you in my arms. You are a miracle, little one, and I know you're going to show everyone just how special you are.
Love,
Mom
it's September, and we've had a few visits with the doctors and the midwives. The midwives said we need to transfer our care to the specialist. That makes mommy a little sad, because she was really hoping that she would have birth at the birth center. But you know what? All that matters is that you are taken care of. I want the absolute best for you, and the best possible chance for you to make it into this world not just alive, but strong. If that means that I see you for the first time in a hospital, then I'm happy to do it :).
The doctor we've been seeing was recommended to us by friends. He has a good reputation for knowing how to make the best of a "high risk" pregnancy. His way of talking to us isn't the nicest, but he's supposed to be the best. We love you so much Tavish. We want to give you the best possible chance.
I don't know what else to tell you right now, so I'm just going to remind you again how much I love you sweet baby boy, and how I look forward to holding you in my arms. You are a miracle, little one, and I know you're going to show everyone just how special you are.
Love,
Mom
What a grand evening
My Dear, sweet Tavish,
It is August, and school has just started back for me. I don't know what to expect yet, because all we're doing right now is teacher training, but I'll find out in a few weeks when the kids return. Of this I am certain, it will be interesting.
We have just had your gender reveal party. Mommy and Daddy invited all their friends to share this great surprise with. A few of them knew already, because your Daddy was so excited he could hardly keep it to himself. I am quite pleased that it was a complete surprise for the rest of our friends though :). We had cupcakes with blue ASL "ILY"'s in them, and made hamburgers for dinner. Our friends brought the rest of the food. We had them guess which they thought you were. It was a lot of fun :D. At the end of the night, they all gathered around us and prayed for you. Dear Tavish, your mom and dad aren't the only ones who love you. They are all praying so hard for you baby boy. No one loves you more than us, but they come a close second.
We know what the doctors have said so far is scary, sweet boy, and I'm so glad you don't have to know what that's like; you're just happy as a clam inside of me, all safe and warm. I wish I could keep you safe and warm forever. Only time will tell how this plays out, but I'm so glad you're mine.
Love,
Mom
It is August, and school has just started back for me. I don't know what to expect yet, because all we're doing right now is teacher training, but I'll find out in a few weeks when the kids return. Of this I am certain, it will be interesting.
We have just had your gender reveal party. Mommy and Daddy invited all their friends to share this great surprise with. A few of them knew already, because your Daddy was so excited he could hardly keep it to himself. I am quite pleased that it was a complete surprise for the rest of our friends though :). We had cupcakes with blue ASL "ILY"'s in them, and made hamburgers for dinner. Our friends brought the rest of the food. We had them guess which they thought you were. It was a lot of fun :D. At the end of the night, they all gathered around us and prayed for you. Dear Tavish, your mom and dad aren't the only ones who love you. They are all praying so hard for you baby boy. No one loves you more than us, but they come a close second.
We know what the doctors have said so far is scary, sweet boy, and I'm so glad you don't have to know what that's like; you're just happy as a clam inside of me, all safe and warm. I wish I could keep you safe and warm forever. Only time will tell how this plays out, but I'm so glad you're mine.
Love,
Mom
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
What's in a name
My darling little boy,
today (Aug 10) is the day! You are no longer a nameless little boy. Today your dad and I decided on your name. You are my wonderful Tavish. We don't have a middle name for you yet, but we'll get there. At least the first name is a start :).
Remember how I told you that your dad and I wanted to name you after your grandpa? Well, we did just that. His name was Thomas, which is greek for "twin." Your name is Tavish, which is Irish for "twin." It's the same name, just in a different language. Your grandpa was a fighter precious Tavish, and I know you will have his same strength, and joy for life. I look forward more and more to the day I get to meet you. I can already tell that you are active. You move around so much! The doctors always say how hard it is to get an accurate look at you on the ultrasound because of how active you are! And you are constantly chewing on your fingers. I guess they must taste good :).
In a few days we're going to have a party in your honor, to celebrate finding out your gender, and picking a name for you. I can't wait to tell all my friends what your name is. I am so blessed to be your mother, nothing could beat feeling you as your grow and move inside of me. In just a few months, I'll get to hold you in my arms, just like I get to hold you inside of me right now.
It's going to be a rocky few months as your dad and I figure out what doctors to go to, and how to best take care of you, but we've already gotten in contact with other parents who have kids with a similar condition as yours (most of them have kids with Trisomy 18). It's been very helpful to have them to ask questions of, and has given us hope that you will have a chance when you are born. We love you so much Tavish, and can't wait to see your beautiful, precious face.
Love,
Mom
today (Aug 10) is the day! You are no longer a nameless little boy. Today your dad and I decided on your name. You are my wonderful Tavish. We don't have a middle name for you yet, but we'll get there. At least the first name is a start :).
Remember how I told you that your dad and I wanted to name you after your grandpa? Well, we did just that. His name was Thomas, which is greek for "twin." Your name is Tavish, which is Irish for "twin." It's the same name, just in a different language. Your grandpa was a fighter precious Tavish, and I know you will have his same strength, and joy for life. I look forward more and more to the day I get to meet you. I can already tell that you are active. You move around so much! The doctors always say how hard it is to get an accurate look at you on the ultrasound because of how active you are! And you are constantly chewing on your fingers. I guess they must taste good :).
In a few days we're going to have a party in your honor, to celebrate finding out your gender, and picking a name for you. I can't wait to tell all my friends what your name is. I am so blessed to be your mother, nothing could beat feeling you as your grow and move inside of me. In just a few months, I'll get to hold you in my arms, just like I get to hold you inside of me right now.
It's going to be a rocky few months as your dad and I figure out what doctors to go to, and how to best take care of you, but we've already gotten in contact with other parents who have kids with a similar condition as yours (most of them have kids with Trisomy 18). It's been very helpful to have them to ask questions of, and has given us hope that you will have a chance when you are born. We love you so much Tavish, and can't wait to see your beautiful, precious face.
Love,
Mom
It never rains but pours
Oh my sweet little boy,
today (Aug 9) your dad and I got some of the worst news. We had that second ultrasound done, and it was about as bad as it could be. The Doctor told us you likely had something called Trisomy 13. She didn't seem to think there was much hope for you, but couldn't know for sure until more tests were done. We had the choice of doing an amniocentesis, but there were too many risks with that. We had a blood test done instead. There's a good chance that whatever it comes back with, will tell us what you have.
The doctor asked us if we wanted to end my pregnancy. We told her no. God gave you to us, and it's our job to take care of you until God decides to take you home. We don't know how long that will be, but it's not our decision. You are perfect, and wonderful, and loved, and we won't cut that short simply because we're scared.
As long as you're inside of me, I know you are safe and warm. So you just stay put as long as you can, and your dad and I will our best to make sure you have everything you need to do as well as you can.
The doctor said that most of the time babies like you don't live very long after they are born, but she also said that the problems we saw are not life threatening. That's a good thing. It means you might have a chance. I know this means that my hopes for "the perfect birth at the perfect location" are out the window, but you know what? I don't really care. I just want to do what I can for you to give you the best possible chance. Some of the reading I've done says that when the parents fight for their kids, they have a better chance of surviving for longer. So that's what we're going to do. We're going to make sure that you have the best care possible, for the best possible life. We both love you so much, sweet boy. Anything can happen, but we want you to know that we're going to follow your lead and do our best to provide for you.
Love,
Mom
today (Aug 9) your dad and I got some of the worst news. We had that second ultrasound done, and it was about as bad as it could be. The Doctor told us you likely had something called Trisomy 13. She didn't seem to think there was much hope for you, but couldn't know for sure until more tests were done. We had the choice of doing an amniocentesis, but there were too many risks with that. We had a blood test done instead. There's a good chance that whatever it comes back with, will tell us what you have.
The doctor asked us if we wanted to end my pregnancy. We told her no. God gave you to us, and it's our job to take care of you until God decides to take you home. We don't know how long that will be, but it's not our decision. You are perfect, and wonderful, and loved, and we won't cut that short simply because we're scared.
As long as you're inside of me, I know you are safe and warm. So you just stay put as long as you can, and your dad and I will our best to make sure you have everything you need to do as well as you can.
The doctor said that most of the time babies like you don't live very long after they are born, but she also said that the problems we saw are not life threatening. That's a good thing. It means you might have a chance. I know this means that my hopes for "the perfect birth at the perfect location" are out the window, but you know what? I don't really care. I just want to do what I can for you to give you the best possible chance. Some of the reading I've done says that when the parents fight for their kids, they have a better chance of surviving for longer. So that's what we're going to do. We're going to make sure that you have the best care possible, for the best possible life. We both love you so much, sweet boy. Anything can happen, but we want you to know that we're going to follow your lead and do our best to provide for you.
Love,
Mom
And then it began
Hi little one,
I'm still gonna call you that for a little while longer. Your dad and I haven't officially decided on a name, although we do know your gender now. You're a beautiful baby boy! We found out today (Aug 1). We also got some slightly discouraging news. We found out you have dilated kidneys, and possibly a cleft lip. The midwives told us not not to worry about it too much. Usually the kidneys resolves themselves, and the cleft lip wasn't a guarantee. Apparently you like to bite your fingers. Silly boy.
We were told to have a more detailed ultrasound done, so that they can make sure nothing else is wrong with you, but they didn't seem too worried, so I'm trying not to be. So much else happened this summer that I'm not sure I can handle anything else going wrong. So I'm not worrying about it. Worrying won't change anything anyway. :).
Instead, I'm gonna dream about names for you. Your dad and I know we want it to be celtic, but haven't decided on one we both like just yet. We are gonna have a gender reveal party in a couple of weeks though. I promise we'll have at least a first name for you by then :). I love you so much already baby boy. I can't wait to meet you and introduce you to everyone.
Love,
Mom
I'm still gonna call you that for a little while longer. Your dad and I haven't officially decided on a name, although we do know your gender now. You're a beautiful baby boy! We found out today (Aug 1). We also got some slightly discouraging news. We found out you have dilated kidneys, and possibly a cleft lip. The midwives told us not not to worry about it too much. Usually the kidneys resolves themselves, and the cleft lip wasn't a guarantee. Apparently you like to bite your fingers. Silly boy.
We were told to have a more detailed ultrasound done, so that they can make sure nothing else is wrong with you, but they didn't seem too worried, so I'm trying not to be. So much else happened this summer that I'm not sure I can handle anything else going wrong. So I'm not worrying about it. Worrying won't change anything anyway. :).
Instead, I'm gonna dream about names for you. Your dad and I know we want it to be celtic, but haven't decided on one we both like just yet. We are gonna have a gender reveal party in a couple of weeks though. I promise we'll have at least a first name for you by then :). I love you so much already baby boy. I can't wait to meet you and introduce you to everyone.
Love,
Mom
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
July
Hi there little one,
this has been a really hard month for your mama. Your grandpa passed away just after the 4th of July. I wish you could have met him. He was an awesome guy. And he would have loved meeting you. He loved adventure, and playing with his grandkids. Your cousin Andrew was a little difficult sometimes, so your grandpa would play with him, and make him laugh.
When we found out how sick he was, we decided we wanted you to be a namesake for him. We thought we had a name all picked out if you were a boy, turns out, that's not the name we're gonna use. Instead, your initials are either gonna be THM, or TOM. You already have a cousin named Thomas, so we didn't want to name you that. We figured using initials would be better :). We can't wait to find out if you're a boy or a girl. I can't feel you moving yet, but I know I will soon.
Right now I'm spending time with your aunt Lindsey (not really your aunt, but she is a very good friend of mine). We went river floating a few times, and had a very relaxing week after all of the upset from losing your grandpa. I'm looking forward to your daddy getting here. He had to leave right after the memorial service to go back to work in Texas, but he'll be here for a week pretty soon. We're gonna visit your great grandma and go to the beach, and the aquarium. Then, right before we leave for home (a two day drive back to Texas) your grandma is gonna have a baby shower for us. Since we don't know yet if you'll be a boy or a girl, we're having a gender neutral party. Lots of Beatrix Potter characters. I'm excited for what life is going to bring for us having you here.
It's been a busy summer little one, but it is coming to a close. Hopefully we'll get a chance to breathe a little bit before school starts. It hasn't been much of a break with everything going on. Just a few more days though, until we get to go back to a more normal life. And shortly thereafter, we'll find out your gender! :)
Love,
Mom
this has been a really hard month for your mama. Your grandpa passed away just after the 4th of July. I wish you could have met him. He was an awesome guy. And he would have loved meeting you. He loved adventure, and playing with his grandkids. Your cousin Andrew was a little difficult sometimes, so your grandpa would play with him, and make him laugh.
When we found out how sick he was, we decided we wanted you to be a namesake for him. We thought we had a name all picked out if you were a boy, turns out, that's not the name we're gonna use. Instead, your initials are either gonna be THM, or TOM. You already have a cousin named Thomas, so we didn't want to name you that. We figured using initials would be better :). We can't wait to find out if you're a boy or a girl. I can't feel you moving yet, but I know I will soon.
Right now I'm spending time with your aunt Lindsey (not really your aunt, but she is a very good friend of mine). We went river floating a few times, and had a very relaxing week after all of the upset from losing your grandpa. I'm looking forward to your daddy getting here. He had to leave right after the memorial service to go back to work in Texas, but he'll be here for a week pretty soon. We're gonna visit your great grandma and go to the beach, and the aquarium. Then, right before we leave for home (a two day drive back to Texas) your grandma is gonna have a baby shower for us. Since we don't know yet if you'll be a boy or a girl, we're having a gender neutral party. Lots of Beatrix Potter characters. I'm excited for what life is going to bring for us having you here.
It's been a busy summer little one, but it is coming to a close. Hopefully we'll get a chance to breathe a little bit before school starts. It hasn't been much of a break with everything going on. Just a few more days though, until we get to go back to a more normal life. And shortly thereafter, we'll find out your gender! :)
Love,
Mom
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